I asked a few hundred people, how do they feel single?
When I used my Instagram to explore the way people felt about being single in 2018, I used some of the blunt tools I learned later: “you don’t like being single, are you single? Are not? All? Tell me, “I propose.
After reading hundreds of responses, I realized how easy I was and underestimated the depth of the topic. It’s not a question of multiple choice, it’s a damn town hall meeting, I’m just grateful.
“Now I like being single,” says Emma Hager, an intern at MR. However, this does not mean that I think are single “authorization”, I think, the feminist empowerment or deprived of the rights of a/classification is not only a lazy, and it is very old, because of the coupling and the romantic interactive discourse has obvious change!
She is absolutely right. Each wave of feminism and had to struggle for women in the emotional, and financial resources by men actually defined, the pursuit of marriage, so why should women reflect their relationship status? Why the point? Through this lens, my original wording presents a retrogressive atmosphere, just as a relative will only ask about your love life, not your inner, professional or creative.
Still, love is a part of human experience, mating is a biological imperative, and we’re still a largely monogamous society. In this regard, the answer is not simple. Because there is no doubt that our modern has caused some own complexity, online dating is a significant problem, and individualistic society undue pressure on society, rather than the community.
All of these little clues have linked the idea of becoming a single woman in 2018, a complex topic, no matter what the name means to her. This is what I want to continue to explore all the different shades of Man Repeller. Now, in order for us to start, there are 14 responses, and I best illustrate the emotional response that I’ve seen over and over again. (that’s why I don’t include age: every sentence summarizes the voices of at least ten women, and they say something similar)
They run all sorts of ideas, and I don’t have any judgment or candor here. I hope they will lead to more discussions about romantic love, as a part of modern life, rather than some grand inevitability, precondition or destination.
“Being single is very practical for me. I was young, and I was dazzled by the enthusiasm of the academic world, and now I like it. I like not to turn my books and academic articles upside down until the wee hours. Being with someone in a loyal way can complicate this. There must be constant pressure to adjust to them. That’s not bad! I think the deliberate compromise from the relationship is gentle and necessary. I don’t feel the need to do that now. ”
“I’ve been single for seven years and I hate it. Being single is good/fun for a while, but in the end (especially once all your friends are paired up), it’s just very lonely. You can do many things on your own, but you can’t hug or embrace yourself. Lack of intimacy (not sex) is really hard. No one really talks about this. Also, dating takes a lot of time/money/energy, and I’d rather spend it on my career. “
“I’ve been single all my life. Most of the time, I think I’m single comfort is “damage” to himself, as others say, because I am very at ease, because I was alone, this means that I didn’t/don’t get, because I’m too independent. But I think the concept is rooted in stereotypes of gender norms, based on the fact that women need men to get economic, emotional and material support. My biggest complaint about being single is that external pressures dictate what “normal” means… It took me some time to avoid these ideologies, and realized that at any time without an important part of the one who is, won’t make me become weird, and when it comes to relationships, you can’t compare with yourself, become a “normal” standard.
“Being single is enjoyable because of the typical reasons for freedom and independence, but I think it’s a… Soothing feelings? I got more time and space, with no harm themselves, there is no need for another “there” (even if it is real relationship – I am introverted nature, so I feel is different). It sounds selfish, but I think I tend to take on another person’s emotional responsibility, which makes me feel exhausted. ”
“My wild, monotonous feeling – it’s like a secondary emotion. I would be totally addicted to being single. I would feel the power and security of independence, and within a second I would feel incredibly vulnerable and dissatisfied. Usually, when I start thinking about the future, and the question starts to take over my brain, that happens – will I get married? Will I have children? That’s it! In some days, these questions are not important to me, and some days they are what I think. ”
“I used to be a single person. I have a pattern of relationships that are chronically unsuited to worry about loneliness. My recent breakup has completely changed. After I ended my last relationship, my friends and family said I had a “post-breakup sheen” and I could feel it. New single, my life is full of experience and people’s light again. Ending my unhealthy romantic relationship makes me realize how much I love and how much I want to offer. Now single feels bright, happy and fulfilled. ”
“I like [single] because it provides freedom and personal growth. With men, I tend to work hard, even if it means sacrificing what I need instead of sacrificing myself. I can always be completely me. I hate it because I feel lonely and miss a companion. Share my favorite activities, laugh and cry. Of course, human contact. As long as you are touched, you can have such a positive effect on your mood. ”
“Recently, I’ve realized that I like being single until someone can add to my speed. I’m tired of telling men what they need and trying to be the right woman for the wrong man. Ultimately, you don’t want these conversations to be the bread of your relationship. ”
“Although I’ve always wanted to see someone, being single is one of the greatest things I’ve ever done. This makes me happier at work and more like my own organization. I have the ability to do anything I want – it’s beautiful. I set my daily routine, ate well, did a lot of yoga, and set up a sweet Saturday morning routine that was independent of everyone else. This is the maximum freedom. ”
“I used to love (maybe pretend I did), but I started to feel that I was always alone, and people were constantly in and out of relationships. This makes me feel very abnormal and must be seriously wrong. In morrissey’s words, “because tonight is like any other night, so you’re going to be alone tonight.” I think.
“When I was in my 20s, most of the time I hated [single], about 25, and when all the weddings were happening, I felt like… Like all friends in different chapters, I’m still alone. I don’t think I’ll ever find it. I need to accept it. So far, I’m in a different position. I’m so happy that I’ve been learning about myself for years, what I like and who I am. If I were 25, I would be a monster. I also appreciate my freedom and independence. Of course some days I want a boyfriend, but most of the time I am happy, I can do anything I want to do. I still think I’m learning, and I still think it’s better for me to focus on others with my own insecurities. ”
“I just don’t want to be stressed! I don’t like people nagging about how you can really be happy when you have a partner. And I think I hate the opposite – the super happy women cry that they are single and repeat. How do I feel? Sometimes, I feel very satisfied, and very good, sometimes I am very lonely, very sad, this also doesn’t matter. I definitely don’t want to beat myself for anything. ”
“I think I like the person who likes it,” but more I don’t like it – I just don’t think or care about relationships. For example, my friends are in a relationship, that’s interesting, I like to meet other important people, but when they asked me if I found someone, my brain will think: ‘what? Oh yes. I’m single and people don’t think I should. I’m not sure that makes sense. More importantly, I would say I have been in a relationship, but the longer they go, the more I hate people I date. And when we finally broke up, everything I felt was relieved. ”
“Single” is a term that feels isolated. When I’m not a romantic relationship, I’m not someone else; When I am in one, I will not change. I am connected with the people around me, weaving in a world of love. When I find someone to share my most intimate parts, these things don’t change. Being single became the intentionality of my friendship, and I loved it. My loneliness is also a place of depth and inspiration. I know it’s part of me, just like love. I feel that if we embrace the loneliness of being single, we all feel more fulfilled and complete. When we admit that no one can really give us everything we need, that sadness, misunderstanding and disappointment are the vessels that bring us to power. I think it’s a discovery process, it’s a necessary, I like a process.